I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
