hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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