new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
