RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
