Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
