I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
