you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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