She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
