If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
