Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
