how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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