Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
