i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
