So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
