KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
