don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
