I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
