He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
