Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
