operation have a gay friend backfired
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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