I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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