that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
