I wish I could punch you in the face.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
