I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
