So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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