i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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