found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
