that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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