we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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