She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
