she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
