The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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