if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
