My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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