he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
