Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
