also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize