Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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