She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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