I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
