marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
