So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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