she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
