Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
