I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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