There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
