imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
