I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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