I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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