Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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