so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
