But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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