So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
