I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize