I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
