I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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