You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
