My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
