Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So much Jack, so little girl.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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