I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
