is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
