I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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